


Assemble Online

by bimushrooms



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Irondad, M/M, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Protective Avengers, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Twitter, spiderson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-03-10 04:39:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18931441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bimushrooms/pseuds/bimushrooms
Summary: the twitter fic no one wanted.peter is a bi mess. tony and the avengers are protective. harley is smitten.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> first fanfic!! enjoy.  
> Pls don’t judge me too hard

bi mess @SI_Intern

i want Thor to crush me with those muscles

>superior loser @donttalktome

seriously pete.. that's your first tweet?

>> bi mess @SI_Intern

okay but like Thor??

bi mess @SI_Intern

hi. im peter btw, im @TonyST's personal intern :)))

tony stark choke me @tonystan

Are you actually tho?

>spider no @spideywife

Some people do a lot for fame

bi mess @SI_Intern

I am :(( @TonyST tell themmm

 

I Am IronMan @TonyST

Kid this is already a disaster and it hasn’t even started

 

I’m Jared @neverlearnedhowtoread

DID TONY JUST-

>Pepperoni @Tgay

HE JUST- IM WHAT-

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\---------

bi mess @SI_Intern

tony is stealing stephen's hoodies

>bi mess @SI_Intern

update

stephen found them in the lab

 

I Am IronMan @TonyST

Kid, stop exposing me like this.

Pepperoni @Tgay

jlfosof excuse me what- who’s Stephen?? Explain ?? 

America’s Ass @datass

okay Stephen aside, how soft is Tony Stark?? I just ?? Want to??? Wrap him ??? In a blanket ??

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—————

Fine. @a-lewd-comment

Just to make sure we’re on the same page here, we’re all just not gonna question @SI_Intern ?

 

Pepperoni @Tgay

Yes.

 

—————

 

Avengers News @LatestAvengers

@TonyST seems to have a new intern identified as @SI_Intern or Peter Parker. Who is Peter to have caught Tony’s eye? Maybe an illegitimate son?


	2. Chapter two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this is late, I had finals BUT IM DONE NOW  
> FREEDOOOOOOMMMM  
> Also sorry is this seems boring, again, I’m very rusty I haven’t written in a while

bi mess @SI_Intern  
I wonder what would happen if I just yeeted my body at my shit principal 

>Fine. @a-lewd-comment  
Mate what

>>bi mess @SI_Intern  
biTCH LISTEN, I SUBMIT MY PAPERS CONCERNING MY INTERNSHIP, AND SHE THINKS I FAKED THEM?? SHE GAVE ME DETENTION?? 

>>>Tony Stark choke me @ironstan  
cant u just like have Tony Stark call the school 

>>>>computer loser @GuyInTheChair  
he tried that, she thought his lie was going too far so she gave him another week of detention 

>>>>>Tony Stark choke me @ironstan  
??? bitch??? 

>I Am IronMan @TonyST  
Kid do you want me to go down there ? 

>>bi mess @SI_Intern  
it’s fine, I’ll just accept my fate and suffer

>>>superior loser @donttalktome  
You can always jump off a cliff 

>>>>bi mess @SI_Intern  
I’ll come back and haunt her ass 

>>>>>I Am IronMan @TonyST  
Kid ? No? Are you okay? 

 

I Am IronMan @TonyST  
Peter isn’t answering his phone ? Should I set up an appointment with a therapist or ? 

>America’s Ass @datass  
Pure. Just #irondad

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bi mess @SI_Intern  
I didnt jump off a cliff because Im a coward 

>I’ll kill you @BlackWidow  
You didn’t jump off because you didn’t want to leave me with these idiots 

>>bi mess @SI_Intern  
True :( I love you too much to leave you :(( and youd kill Mr America 

>>>Jared @neverlearnedhowtoread  
In other news, black widow knows you? 

>>>>I’ll kill you @BlackWidow  
Know him? KNOW HIM? 

I’ll kill you @BlackWidow  
I’ve only had @SI_Intern for a day and a half but if anything happens to him, I’ll kill everyone and then myself

>I Am IronMan @TonyST  
Honestly same 

I’ll kill you @BlackWidow  
Like when Tony first introduced him to us, I expected him to freak out over Steve but he didn’t? He freaked out over me ? 

>bi mess @SI_Intern  
Nooo that was embarrassing 

>>I’ll kill you @BlackWidow  
It was cute ?? I loved it? I love you ? 

>>>bi mess @SI_Intern  
I love you too :( I still want you to stab me in the face 

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———————————————————

Pepperoni @Tgay  
Can we all agree that @SI_Intern is the purest thing yet ? 

>America’s Ass @datass  
Yes. 

More replies  
——————————————————-

Queerly @potatogunner  
@TonyST is a dick and can eat a bunch of rocks 

>smol @betterkeener  
You’re salty that you got blocked 

>>Queerly @potatogunner  
Bitch couldn’t handle me calling him a bitch


	3. Chapter 3

queerley @potatogunner   
A reminder that I’m THAT bitch whose garage Tony Stark broke into. 

>spider no @spideywife   
Dk if ur serious or lying -.- 

>>Pepperoni @Tgay  
We can prove that @SI_Intern you know him?

>>>bi mess @SI_Intern   
That sounds like something Mr. Stark would do -.- hold up 

 

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—————————————-  
Direct Messages   
beterbarker : is your name Harley Keener ? From Rose Hill? 

pogayto : depends who’s asking? Can’t have no bitch stealing my identity 

beterbarker: JDKSKDK OMG YOU ARENFKEKD okay hi I’m Peter Parker, Mr. Stark’s intern

beterbarker : you can scroll through my account to make sure of that

pogayto : oh hey the old man told me about you   
———————————————

>>>>bi mess @SI_Intern   
Lmao yea ik him 

I Am Ironman @TonyST  
Oh god peter just told me he’s been introduced to Harley, who did this ?? 

>Pepperoni @Tgay   
I’m terrified to do this, but I did 

>>I Am Ironman @TonyST  
There’s a reason I never introduced them... y o u v e k i l l e d u s a l l 

>>>queerley @potatogunner   
>;D

 

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witch bitch @no-wand-a   
dear god, I am so gay

> bitch @dISGUSTING   
Mood but care to elaborate ? 

>>witch bitch @no-wand-a   
I just love my gf sm ?? Like ?? I walk in and she’s training in a tank top ?? Can she choke me ?? 

>>>I’ll kill you @BlackWidow   
I’d save that for the bedroom love ;) 

>>>>witch bitch @no-wand-a   
F u c k m e 

>>>>>I’ll kill you @BlackWidow   
Gladly 

>>>>>>Chloe needs air @asthmahoe   
That right there ? My new aesthetic DJSKKFKD 

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better bird @hawkeye   
I’m starting a petition, @wintersoldier is no longer allowed to wear a shirt.

>Fine. @a-lewd-comment   
Where do I sign ? 

better bird @hawkeye   
@wintersoldier choke me with those arms daddy

>part robot @wintersoldier   
Baby I don’t think that’s age appropriate 

>>better bird @hawkeye  
You either shut the fuck up or you fuck me 

>>>part robot @wintersoldier  
Be there in 5 

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Steve Rogers @CapAmerica  
I’d like to formally apologize for my team today, I have no clue what’s gotten into them 

>bird #2 @Falcon  
Like you’re any better, I can barely walk 

 

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Pepper Potts @Thepepper  
PR nightmares, that’s what they are. I can not believe Tony is the tame one today 

>Pepperoni @Tgay  
Damn I feel bad you have to clean up after them 

>He’s an idiot @MayParker   
Nawh poor bby :( I’ll be there in an hour 

 

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Tony Stark choke me @IronStan  
The avengers having an all around gay day? God hasn’t abandoned this time line 

 

More replies  
———————————————-

queerley @potatogunner  
We’ve been acquainted😏

>bi mess @SI_Intern   
DjskkdARLEY YOURE MAKING IT SOUND DIRTY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this isnt as good djskkd


End file.
